Would it be stupid of me 
to call you up and tell you
I’ve missed the sound of your laughter
and the way you taste like minty toothpaste
when we kiss?

Would it be a waste of my time
to ask to see you once again
because I miss you hold my hands
and laying on your chest
while dozing off to sleep?

Would I just be digging 
myself into a hole,
taking steps back
and ripping open wounds 
in the middle of healing?

But what if I say that I don’t mind.
What if I tell you that
I’ve thought it through
and for you,
I’d hurt a million times over.
For you,
I will wait
a little longer.

- Ming.

I find it really hard to accept that some things in life will never go back to the way it used to be and all i can do is think about it all the time wishing i could reminisce it. When i close my eyes i think about all the good times we had but its all in the past and i can never get it back. I loved those days and i miss them so much. Esp my friends, my family thou. It hurts to know that those memories will always stay in my head no matter what i do but i know its impossible to go back. After a while you just cant cry anymore. 

You just have to believe that what happens is whats supposed to happen and you cant change that even if you tried. So just dry the tears and hope that tomorrow will be a finer day. Fucking finest day. Dear God, if time machine only exist.

every day of my life 

im forced myself

to add another name 

to the list of people

who piss me of.

fuck you.

Pain.


I think you still love me but we cant escape the fact that im not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So im not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. Im not angry, either. I should be but im not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought i could imagine how much this would hurt but i was wrong.